Hi, I’m Rubix and I live in Camp Crash. But my story isn’t as simple as that, I was once a legend. Living in the town of Salisbury, I was working in the Odeon. As I walked the street people would wolf whistle and scream ‘look it’s the popcorn master’. Now I don’t like to toot my own horn but with two for one deals this summer, I was every girls dream. But here’s the funny thing, (cue laughter) I fell into the popcorn machine. Whoopsy daisy, and here I am. Who would have thought that big bundle of joy would actually be a time machine. My final words in the year 2016 were, ‘Wait a minute, Doc. Are you telling me that you built a time machine…. out of a popcorn maker?’ and he replied, ‘Roads? Where we’re going Rubix, we don’t need roads’.
Things are a little different in 1,000,000 BC, like the food for example. It’s not as clean as back home and the portion sizes are questionable. Knives and Forks are a thing of the future, but my claws were made for this. Out with the old and in with the new I always say. The living conditions… Not ideal. I share a slab of rock with my Mrs, Marsha. Luckily she’s bang tidy so welcome to ‘bedrock’ folks. Now you may be wondering how on earth I settled into this community and how I even begin to communicate with a bunch of wild dinosaurs and simple cavemen. I don’t really, but I tell you what. We love a game of charades. But it does get boring, ‘Grunt’, ‘Grunt, Grunt’, ‘Let me guess, the Flintstones?!’ It’s the same every time, but I have a trump card. Before I arrived here and became idolised by the men of the caves. I was sat down, put my feet up one night and enjoyed a lovely cup of lemon tea. Don’t get me wrong the purpose of this blog is to push certain products to cringe worthy levels but the important thing to take from this, is the fact I was watching ‘the wolf of wall street’. I don’t want you guys forgetting, I’m Rubix Stormborn of the House Cube, First of his name, the Untouchable, King of the Banter and the first men. Khal of the Great Odeon, Remover of Ailments and the Father of Popcorn. I’m a massive fan of GOT if you haven’t guessed already (I’ll meet you one day Daenerys Targaryen, come to papa).
Going back to the lemon tea, some place in Sandleheath sold Lemon Cold Pressed (I’m not making this up, promise) by the Kilo, high rollers. The website you ask?! I also have abilities similar to those of the great Charles Xavier, I can read your mind. To all you humans and mutants alike, www.mysticmomentsuk.com will fill you with happiness. What really amazes me about Lemon Cold Pressed is the fact it helps out on both sides of the spectrum. If you want supple soft skin – Lemon Cold Pressed. For potentially supporting metabolism and weight loss – Lemon Cold Pressed. To disinfect your kitchen counters and eradicate general filth, you’ve guessed it folks – Lemon Cold Pressed. Even a few drops in my hair during the intense English summer, naturally highlighted my hair. So make sure you don’t miss that window of opportunity, three whole days to be exact.
Back to reality, whether I like it or not I’m a cave man now and I am not going home and I’ll tell you why. Camp Crash is my home! In all honesty, I would love to go back home. Unfortunately the technology isn’t quite there (No popcorn machines as of yet, mmm sweet buttery popcorn). This camp reminds me of our performance in the euros, terrible. If only Roy fell into the popcorn machine and dragged Kane in with him… But every cloud has a silver lining they say and I did get to rewrite history. Little old me, may have made a cheeky little fire. Naughty one I am. Electricity is currently on my ‘to do list’, lying below finding an Xbox One and the Adele 21 album (a classic). As the great Ron Weasley once said, ‘She needs to sort out her priorities’ and so I have. But as camp leader, my duty is to look after my people and this is essentially what I’ll be doing. Get it? Essentially? It’s a blog about essential oils and other exciting stuff! The other ‘stuff’ will all be revealed in good time, my friends. In fairness it’s not the most clear, but if you’ve worked it out gold star to you. I’ve even gone out my way and decided to make some of the key words bold just in case you forget what this is all about. The essentially essential things that I like to essentially plug, essential oils. ‘What material is this blog made out of?’ Boyfriend material, hehe.
However, most of these viagra buy on line medicines do need a prescribed but there are many products that you can buy on the street are prescription drugs, such as tranquilizers and pain medications. Ed-pursuing students viagra usa pharmacy faces no issue on the job front. Garlic is most generic viagra prices versatile food. Peter Cook could levitra on line have communicated with his wife instead of sleeping with another woman, particularly an eighteen year-old girl. So go out there people of the world, buy some lemon cold pressed and unlock the secret power of the pressed lemons. If you’re feeling daring, dive into the organic brand. Treat yourself, you deserve it.
So with my new found wolf of Wall Street skill set I’ll even give you a discount, 20% for you kind ladies & gentlemen!
Not good enough? Move along, we’re not a charity.
Here’s a review from a happy customer in camp crash (I pressed the lemons myself – fresh).
‘Grunt, Grunt, Grunt, I clean rock’ – Happiness can be shown in so many ways. 10/10